From Angel to...

As an undergraduate at Meredith Angel (with only things like women's rights to avenge), I completed my psychology thesis research in the identity development of young adults, or emerging adults, if you will. This term- now widely used among others like Generation Y, the Millenials- was coined by the researcher J.J. Arnett to define those between 18-25 who are finding-- no stumbling their way from their teenage years into adulthood. This is a period for the privileged middle and upper class of the world, mostly Westerners, to figure out if they are keeping those core values given from their parents or dropping them for any of the endless other choices. I always had a bit of a beef with the age definition because I know plenty of people who are still defining themselves throughout their 20s and into their 30s, and as I approach my 25th birthday (it's merely 2.5 months away) I can't imagine having enough figured enough out to be an adult.

Now, by this point, we all know that my 25 before 25 is not going to be finished. I've worked really hard on these goals, and even completed some big ones, so they'll be upgraded to a 30 before 30. No problem. But also, there are some changes as I continue to work on as I strive to work out some of the uncertainties about who I am and where I'm going both metaphorically and actually. In fact, a huge part of keeping up this blog has been to record and to announce my grand life changes, has it not?

So for a variety of reasons, my Fulbright year helped me realize that I don't want to get into academics. Was I a bit wishy-washy under that kind of freedom and an unclear vision? Sure. But partially I'd like some job mobility, and after some great years of uncertainty, I'm looking forward to any security life can afford. I don't see research or university life rendering these things for me. We may discuss the reasons why to all of these things, but let's just skip that for now and say we're all right. The world is crumbling. Society is changing for the better. Whatever, back to me. (It is my blog after all.)

In exploring the skills and the experiences I had acquired and whatever I could possibly do with them on somewhat my terms, a dear friend Allison suggested I look into consulting over a yummy autumn meal. From there I applied to two great business schools and decided on one as mentioned earlier. This time next year, I'll be graduating from Duke University's Fuqua Business School with a Master's in Management Studies. I'm learning business foundations in 10 months. Think of it like an MBA, Jr. for stinkers like me without the experience to get an MBA.

I'm awfully excited about it. I'm also a bit nervous. In a year (!!!), I'll already be a graduate. And let's be real: I never anything about business studies outside of my half semester of economics as a senior in high school (Many thanks, Mr. David Seidel!). Thankfully, Fuqua's MMS program has set me on a path of pre-program studying, learning how to use Excel's financial functions, calculating future values on investments and profit margins, and other stuff that might bore you to tears if you are one of my typical blog readers. You guys come for the European adventures, I know. I promise, I'll be back there... eventually.

But for now, I'm *surprise!* enjoying soaking in this new knowledge and discovering a foreign side of me. A side that can employ my data analysis skills and creative critical thinking in an unfamiliar atmosphere. Once again I feel like I can offer something to society. I find that I am not reinventing myself, but working on a foundation that's already been prepared with much effort. For some of you, this new career choice may seem like an about-face change, a rejection of who I was. Instead, I delightfully continue to be surprised by another facet to who I am and what I have to offer. What I do as a job simply does not define who I am.

If nothing else, it is a pleasant reminder that I should never be simply complacent, that I can always discover a better version of myself. Passion and opportunities are everywhere, if only we commit to making them our own.

Also, calm down all of you anti-Duke fans. I'm not going to play basketball. I wasn't dealt those cards.

And six months in...

Here I sit, nearly six months after the creation of my 25 before 25, up too early with a cup of tea and a loading GPS, finishing the preparations for a big adventure. So I thought it time to review what's going on in my life.

The main focus for a while was that dual citizenship. I'm now at an impasse, waiting on several documents to go back and forth from New York before I get them all a special stamp and translated. Then I can finally bring them all in tow for a meeting at the Philadelphia consulate. Glad this project was started early because it's likely to not be even finished in time but here's hoping I'm wrong!

I have also been back with Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance volunteering in any jobs they'll take me. This brought me to do some backstage work with Sordid Lives and even put me on stage--in a coffin! I was stand in for a dead lady and laughed hysterically the whole time! Made it on stage! We can knock #17 off the list!

I also just assisted on some costuming for their current production of Legally Blonde. If you can check that one out, do so! It's such a fun production! Here's a picture of some of my work on the lovely Holly.

No full-time job, but that's okay. I've been working three jobs: sales associate at Banana Republic, babysitting (for an Italian family), and subbing for Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Schools. As a result, I've been running around like a crazy person, finding a few minutes when I can to communicate in one way or another with G, who has been victim to many late nights from the six hour time difference. I'm certainly getting a better idea of managing money, which I only hope to expand.

Some other things have come up in the meantime:

I'm in a whole bunch of weddings this year and can't wait to celebrate so much love! Who knew how much planning there was going into a big party?!? But if you know me, you know I show UP to party, so this spring is going to be a great one!

I've also applied to a few graduate schools for a Master's in Management. I'd start in July and finish by May 2014! A swift change to some of your knowledge, but to me, it's nothing new. It's so exciting to think about becoming a part of something real and current and changing. And if my blog is any kind of synthesis of my life then linear, predicted decisions should not be what you imagine! I can't say I regret any decisions, but I'm ready to start a career and mold it to fit me. Then I'm sure to learn quite a bit about money, no? But I'm also really proud of the reflection it's provided for my work and choices until now. It got me to really work on the personal branding and mission statement a bit. I can go into details when I have more updates to provide, but for now, I'm just excited for new possibilities!

And now... off to Paris! Rest assured that a post on it's own will make it to the blog. Au revoir!

Today is the day.

Today is July 30th.

Today is the day several months revolved around: the day I would leave Italy again.

I've blogged a lot about my life decisions, revelations, and changes here, so I figured why not add a few more? And so the story begins:

My Fulbright year could be defined in many ways, but as I reflected the most fitting word is "challenge," be it referring to both the stand taller with a puffed chest type and the "am-I-ever-going-to-get-through-this?" moments. There was challenge everywhere. Challenge in my work. Challenge in my personal life. Challenge in my path to know myself. Challenge in living on another continent. I realized, maybe later than some or just in a different way, that growing up is hard. There are lots of things to do, many more than could ever be done in one lifetime, and so with that comes priorities and hard life choices. And that became my biggest challenge.

Among the series of challenges I fell into or created for myself, I started to doubt the plans I had set. Who knows why, but it was like a slow developing bacteria. A serious talk with a friend, a family member, or an acquaintance now and then grew in number and emotion. Soon attacks came more frequently and were stronger. My resolve strengthened and imploded on itself so often that I started to doubt my whole person and that, above all, made me unhappy. The only thing I could gather was that something had to change. So I took off the cruise control and pulled off the road to look at the map. My route had to change.

So then in May I emailed the professor at Western Washington University and informed her that I would no longer be attending the Experimental Psychology program. It was one of the hardest decisions I've made to date because it meant saying goodbye to something I still found interest in, but just wasn't a priority. The fear of making the "wrong" decision filled me with anxiety because WWU was an atmosphere and a setting that I wanted, that I had worked towards. Alas, I had found in my reflection more of a desire to add to community planning or policy change than I did to grow within an academic environment. Some work here in Florence with a conference called Diversi. E Allora? (Different. So what?) really enlightened that area inside my consciousness.

After that, I realized that I had to get to work. I have student loans to pay, after all. Which brings us to another more humiliating thing to admit: after all of this time, my project still isn't done. I got lost in theory. I made my life harder. I stumbled over my ideas and got discouraged instead of cleaning them up. I wanted so much and then didn't know how to ask for help. I could skip out of town or buckle down and make things work. In reflection I realized how much I had learned reading and not, interviewing and not, writing and not. This time with some real help from Gabriele--the person who knows best how to give it to me straight... in the nicest way possible, I recognized how much of a shame to my experience and a general disappointment to myself it would be to not complete a project. Plus I would feel so much better citing things I had learned from a finished product at job interviews.

And so today is the day I didn't leave Italy again. At least for now.

Running around much busier than normal, I stopped by the mailbox. There was a big envelope and I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be cool if that was for me?" I slid it out from under the other mail and saw my name on the label. The seal looked familiar. I squatted in the middle of the driveway, dropped the pile on the ground, and tore up the envelope.

"Dear Ms. Cibelli,

On behalf of the J. William Fulbright Scholarship Board, I am pleased to congratulate you on your selection for a Fulbright award to Italy."

Since then, I've been through a few stages of emotional extremes. Shock came first. It might not go away. There I was sitting like a frog in the middle of my driveway all alone and I cried a little. I had done the inconceivable. And after I was just getting excited about moving to Washington! I've been told a few times that it didn't seem like I was very excited, but in the last year this grant's been a lot of things to me, mostly circling around frustration. Leave Italy or stay? Get a real job or don't? Move to Washington or don't? And at the end I just waited...and waited...and waited. It was kind of a miserable existance but left a lot of time for good reflection, so it couldn't have been too bad, huh?

Next came the grateful stage. I couldn't help but reflect on how I got into this position as I told only a handful of people at first. The opportunity to be a grantee didn't just happen. I got a lot of help to get there. Mostly, it's impossible to express just how indebted I am to my parents. They took some hard sacrifices over the years to ensure that I was in the best educational setting for my holistic growth. There are also not many parents out there that will tell you to do what makes you happy and back you up when you tell them you're buying a one-way ticket to move to Europe. Then, of course, I can draw a timeline for you of all the most meaningful conversations with teachers, professors, mentors, and friends, who were behind the exposure to certain ideas, linking them together, and the fact the application was actually completed. I'll never be over that.

The third stage was being overwhelmed. Until recently, I've pretty much been in hiding because the news became bigger than me or what I could deal with at any given moment. I like to do big things, but I find recognition to be an awkward experience. Don't get me wrong, I've sincerely appreciated the well wishes and being chosen as a grantee is the highest honor I could imagine for myself at this point, but it's simply humbling. It became hard to swallow that so many people were proud of me. So thank you all. Know that I could never articulate just how much I appreciate the support.

But today, I officially got my medical clearance and an email with all the names of the other grantees, tips on finding real estate, and LOTS MORE paperwork for me to do. So I can officially say that I'm excited. I'm moving to Florence for, more or less, a year and I'll be doing research I'm passionate about pursuing. I'll be learning and growing in so many domains. And I'll finally be busy with a purpose! And not just any purpose--I'll be doing the one thing I dreamed about doing for several years.

All that makes me think about one of my brother's favorite quotations: "The greatest pleasures in life is doing what people say you cannot do" - Walter Bagehot. I admitted before that applying for the Fulbright was the first thing I did despite some unconvincing counsel. If I'm honest, it's also the first thing I didn't think I could do. There were several times throughout the process that I was practically pushed by others to get it done because I didn't believe in my capabilities or the odds or whatever it was at the moment. So to that I say, tenacity is a virture to hold dear. Work hard. Sometimes dreams do come true.

I had to take a break from blogging, but beyond working with the children and on a phenomenal run of ASSASSINS! with Theatre Alliance, nothing much happened. That is until my life was turned upside down just last Monday. It's taken some time to process, but I went on a glorious run yesterday with beautiful weather, awesome shuffle music, and the aroma of dogwoods and sweet burning wood. And that perfectly simple moment brought all the clarity I needed.

I had gotten tired of waiting. Most of all, I was exhausted by the uncertainty. There's nothing quite like the mystery of the future to make you uncomfortable with everything. One of the principles I stand on is that discomfort naturally brings growth, but I felt like I had done all the growing I could. I started doubting. Doubting the decisions I had made, the state I am in, and my plans for the future. And because these were no longer investigative questions, I needed to gain some control over my own life.

The way that is done is making decisions and dealing with the consequences. So Monday morning I sent an email to Western Washington University accepting their invitation to be a part of the Experimental Psychology program. I applied to the master's program under the direction of Dr. Kate McLean, whose work I've been following for years. It's a perfect fit with my interests and seemed like a good foundation to start my graduate career in that atmosphere.

In the afternoon, my parents and I all arrived home simultaneously. I followed Dad out to the mailbox telling him about my decision. He handed me a letter, which is odd because I get about 5 credit card offers and one Meredith mailing each month, rarely anything else. My eyes blurred to comprehend the page quickly and focused on these words in the first paragraph: "alternate...Fulbright...later date...." I had read all I needed and handed it off.

All at once the tension was released from my surroundings. I took a deep breath and all I could say was, "Well, that's that" as I plopped on the couch. I didn't know what to do with myself. My parents were saying encouraging things and I'm sure I was responding to their questions and comments, but I could really only feel myself breathing. Dramatic, yes, but true.

Then the tears came and I felt a surge of disappointment. I was never sure I was going to receive the grant, but I was always hopeful. I knew I had submitted the best application I was capable of and I wasn't upset about that. I had to mourn my dreams of returning to Italy with a passionate purpose. I had to say good-bye to my dreams of living where and working on what I love at someone else's expense. I also had to let go of my hopes that this opportunity would be my golden ticket for a fellowship and a life without student loans.

Yet, I can't help but marvel at the timeline of these events. I made a choice and received near immediate feedback that it was good. Call it what you like: luck, fate, divine presence. The title is not my concern. I'm simply pleased about the content.

But still, I am so grateful to have had this experience and for what I've learned because of it. Sure, now I have knowledge of a grant application process and somewhat survived a patience stand-off. Valuable skills. But to have the opportunity to hear words of support has been, in a sure contradiction of terms, both uplifting and humbling. One friend wrote that they just couldn't say no to me. A nice perspective, I may just adopt.

In summary, that's it. I am honored to have been named an alternate for the Fulbright, more affectionately titled the Miss Fulbright Runner-Up. I'm still in the running if someone else drops out...but why would they do that? Let's be real--I wouldn't. 

And yet my self-made consolation prize doesn't feel much like one at all. My sights are set on Bellingham, Washington. I'm overwhelmed by even more opposing emotions, but in the end it's an adventure and we all know how I feel about that. Come visit soon!

The State of My Present

At long last I have some pretty good news. I imagine that all you who read this blog already heard, but for posterity, I'm reporting here that my Fulbright application was passed along and recommended to the board in Italy. This news is exciting, sure, but I'm not doing a lot of celebrating yet. There's a 50-50 shot at this point. Those are better odds, but the show's not over yet. We don't know how it's going to end. And the Fulbright Commission has let me know who's in charge here by controlling the timing.

I got the news in an email on just another Thursday, while sitting on the couch and watching Two and a Half Men with Dad. I didn't expect to hear anything for another week and a half so I was caught off guard. Then within said email, they proceeded to tell me I have to live in this state of uncertainty. I could know as soon as next month, but let's be real, we're talking about Italy. Nothing bureaucratic moves quickly there. But no worries, I should know...by the end of June. Guys, that's such a long time! Especially when my life is waiting all morning to go to work, then waiting for parents, then waiting for bed. It's the waiting I'm most upset about. So. Much. Waiting.

I've never been very talented at the patience game, but I'm a lot more comfortable with the uncertainty. There was a time when I was fretting about years into my future when there was no reason to have such anxiety about things that weren't affecting me just yet. I've wasted countless tears and too many hours of wringing my hands about "The State of My Future." It was always somewhat like The State of the Union addresses in that they were reflective, cautionary, and looking ahead, but more Clinton-like than Obama-esque with lots more used tissues. Sometimes I have embarrassing flashbacks to those moments and marvel that the people who sat through them still talk to me.

While it's shameful to think about that behavior, the shame is a telling sign for me that I'm (mostly) beyond it. I conquered some of my worst fears and am living through my old nightmares. I graduated college without a job or a place in school. I moved back home. I'm way underemployed. Five years ago, I never would have fathomed this life for myself. I am now what I considered then to be a big failure. But that doesn't bother me.  A wonderful friend of mine relayed some advice she had recently received: "Don't borrow anxiety from the future." And that's what Oprah calls an "a-ha moment."

The question isn't what will happen to me if I don't get the grant. I'm ready for the news either way. Plus, I've got really good Plans B and C that I've already started to set in motion. If they don't work, I'll figure it out. Which brings me to my greatest achievement since my college graduation: I learned that I'm always going to find something - eventually.

The sad parts for now are feeling idle and being lonesome. I don't like not contributing to a good and I don't like feeling solitary in that. These feelings weren't recently discovered or were neglected on this blog. I constantly feel them and talk about them ad nauseum, but sometimes life is so good that I forget I'm feeling anything but joy. Other times, I revel in my misery and begin to feel hopeless. My conclusions are that everything is ephemeral and I can make change in my life.

So when I have a bad day, I wake up the next morning resolute to have a good one until I actually do, trying to forget the yesterdays. I've also been reaching out to the community. Having applied for every kind of employment possible to no avail, I'm turning to volunteer work for now. My middle schoolers bring me such joy that soon I will be working one-on-one with some of the elementary schoolers in the afternoon. And as of this weekend, I'll be a dresser for community theatre.

One of my friends suggested that I pick up a practice she started in the new year. Looking for better employment, her roommate and she created mantras they repeated, focused on, and acted upon until they got results. I figured it couldn't hurt, so I've been reflecting a mantra of my own. I want a dynamic and gainful experience. I've been told, ask and ye shall receive, and if that's true, you can be sure it'll be reported here. :) Happy Tuesday!

I'm late to the party...

but happy new year, y'all! Hahaha! Despite the fact that we're almost two weeks into 2011, there are still 50 left, so in perspective, I'm still at the beginning of it. I'm getting older, quicker and the days are moving faster than I can note, but I feel like this is especially true of 2010. I waited a long time for 2010 and now it's already gone, but a lot happened in those measly 12 months. To sum it up, I decided to use some of my favorite pictures from the year month by month.

 Now what? I've got a lot to think about and to work on in 2011, so here are some goals:

• Learn to speak Spanish (somewhat).
• Find a job (or jobs) where I work at least 30 hours a week.
• Hand make 3 things I am proud of. (Maybe you can teach me to do something cool like this, Kellie?)
• Handwrite a letter a week.
• Paint and decorate my room.
• Set aside time to write short stories.
• Take the GRE again and apply to 5 graduate programs.
• Inventory, organize, and cut down all of my belongings to fit in my room following The Cult of Less.
• Achieve my healthy size finally (almost there!) ... and stay there.
• Move.
• Start a book of my favorite (read: edible) recipes.
• Visit a new state. (I'll choose Colorado if you'll take me on one of these, Marie!)
• Run in a 5k. (Wanna run one together Lauren?)
• Check my car's tire pressure and oil on the first of every month.
• Volunteer regularly.
• Have more fun than I had in 2010....

Womp, womp.

It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted because not much has been going on. Besides a pretty big disappointment. My test didn't go so well, and since then I've had to deal with more negative emotions than I wish to admit. But I'm over it and moving on with what I have to do. There's a little more than two weeks until I leave and still quite a bit to get done. But this post is really about disappointment.

I hate that my first attempt at the GRE went so sucky (to be truly eloquent). Following the big failure, the big thought that passed through my head was: "This was NOT in my plan. I've been studying for this test so much and it was not supposed to happen like this. I was going to do well on it, go to Italy after three weeks, and apply to those graduate school with a little peace in all this hectic." And then it hit me. I guess I'm not as well adjusted as I thought I was getting. Not off the path of "The Plan." Which made me start thinking about other things.

Specifically, I've been reflecting a lot on the decisions I've made recently. Moving home has been full of mixed outcomes. It's been wonderful spending time with my family. The older I get I realize just how priceless that time is. Especially since I don't have much else to give these days--gotta love that free rent! (Another benefit of being home.)

But then there are the sour sides of moving home. No job means that I'm home until I have something really interesting to do...like go to the bank. Since most of my work is on the computer because I'm going international I have no reason to go anywhere. Positive side of this: I know there's NO WAY I could ever work from home. Maybe if I had my fantasy study. Otherwise, no.

Then there's also NOTHING here. I'm really not kidding. There are no adventures here which really speaks to my hiatus from blogging. College friends are near college. And all things considered, I have a good group of people I still keep in touch with from high school...but none of them are around either. I have to take big long trips and get lost every time I see a friend.

And before I get too emo, this separation has made me appreciate those good friends you can't live without. I've always sucked at keeping up with people, but I guess with some international friends to keep in touch with over the last few years and practically residing in a foreign land the last few weeks, I've had some good practice. Now I know communication is a two way street and I'm starting to learn which friends like to know about certain things, like to talk about specific issues or news or gossip, have similar woes as me, etc. It's almost as if we're all taking friendship labels. I'm sure they'll change over time, but it's just interesting. I'm still working through this idea, but I mention it to provoke. What do you think?

So in closing, I've got a lot more work to do on myself and my friendships and my life. And thanks for making it through this post. You're a trooper. :)

Well, it's done.

I feel like there should have been a parade or a party or something. Of course, I'm talking about booking my ticket to Italy. I put in the big bucks, choosing the best price I could find in the worst possible season to travel abroad. But it's done and I leave in under 5 weeks.

(oh.

my.

goodness.

F.I.V.E.W.E.E.K.S.

wowzah.)

...Um, sorry about that freakout. But back to what I was saying, I feel like there should have been something to mark the occasion, but instead I was laying on the couch, watching America's Got Talent sporting my Fightin' Irish sweatshirt and Marvel Comic's boxers. (I guess I can't expect everyone else to get all dressed up if I won't either.)

A good friend of mine once told me that moments like these are just a part of the celebration of life. These "small moments" lead into big celebrations later on when there are real things to celebrate...like: a Fulbright grant? a competitive fellowship? all kinds of adventures I can't yet fathom?

So here's to the future celebrations of all shapes, sizes, and kinds!

J-E-L-L-O.

I've had a tough time motivating myself recently. Coming out of a structured setting has been difficult for me. The relaxation has been nice, but I really have this inner desire to accomplish. To actually produce something. I cross things off of my daily list (although, I never seem to find enough drive to complete the whole thing), but I really haven't done satisfactory things. I still feel unsettled. But now that I've got some big things coming, so I need to really focus in on the small steps to get me all ready for the end goals.

First off, I've officially registered for the GRE. This test is a big deal and I feel like I've been preparing forever...but at the same time slacking off. I've got to get in the right gear because, above all, I can't afford to take it too many times! It's $160 (!?!) for a standardized test that's required to get into graduate school. People, that's what I like to call racketeering!

And secondly, it's not all worked out yet (isn't that the point of this post???), but I'm really doing it. I'm going back to Italy. There are so, so, so many things to get in order, despite my decision to leave so many things ... unformed, up in the air, questionable. But in case you didn't catch my tone, I don't take guesses. I have an air of spontaneity, but my perfume is usually pretty solid. I don't quite set things in stone, I'm more of a gelatin maker.

Read: I have no choice that life didn't give me a map and something I'm still accepting is that the year will remain inchoate until...it's not. I'm not sure when I'll make my way out of the nebulous cloud form I'm living in, or if I'll even decipher a distinct shape until I've moved on, but I'm doing what I can. So for now, it's one step at a time. And when that idiom comes to mind, I always makes me think of the song below. Too appropriate to pass up. :)

School's out for...?

I didn't let myself post the other day because I was feeling kind of blue. It doesn't feel much like the summer break I'm used to after a year of classes. I LOVE rain, but it's just been gloomy outside during the day. And I can't really shake the anxiety I've been feeling about being unemployed. I'm not sure why it's weighing so heavily on me. But I can say that this feeling has opened my eyes about what life is like for those who have to take care of families, pay for homes, etc. I have a profound respect for those who can do it right and a greater sense of sympathy for those who struggle with these things. I know I'm not living in awful conditions, but living on my own gives me a different perspective on what responsibility is.

On a nicer note, I have been enjoying myself. It's nice to hang out with friends without having to worry about what time I have to wake up in the morning or what I have to get done. I'm also loving my sweatpants/movie days. Not having a television for most of my college career may have been compensated in the last week and a half. And Maggie, my awesome new roommate, has been wonderful. It's fun to hang out with her and do new things. We went to the Farmer's Market on Sunday. So fun! So yummy! Maybe best of all is hanging out with Lily, my new friend. She's got quite a personality and has taken residence in my lap. She loves giving kisses and is quite the talker. Isn't she adorable?

How rude!

At lunch today, a few friends--mostly seniors--and I were discussing how awful when small chat comes to the most dreaded question: "What are you doing after graduation?" I hate that question right now because, quite honestly, who knows? Really, please raise your hand if you've got it all figured out. If you raised your hand and it's two, five, or seven years more school, do you have a guarantee about what's after that? Yeah, that's what I thought. Put it down.

My friend Meredith was talking about how unbearable it is when the people who just graduated ask this abominable question and I concur wholeheartedly. That might be the most painful of all. Underclassmen have no idea what it's like so they're excused, but if you've recently lived through the anxiety of making plans and know what I call the senior scramble, don't ask me what I'm doing because you have nothing else to say or you're trying to be polite. I don't mind if you preface it with some apology about how rough things are now, and then ask if I have any leads. That's tactful and kind. But pah-leeze! It's hard enough being hounded by real adults and the evil voice in my head that I can't escape. I don't need your reminder of my deepest insecurities, thank you.

I was having this discussion with one of my Italian friends named Filippo last week. I was updating him about some new developments in my short-term life plan (which takes me out to about 2017) but told him that of course everything is subject to change. Filippo showered me with admiration, but I assured him that it wasn't anything to cheer about. These are all just ideas that aren't realized yet and that because I'm force to think about my plans, I feel like have to come up with something to say. On that day alone I had already been asked three times what I was doing with my life. And that's not even a bad day as the count can get up to nine or ten in just 24 hours! He explained to me about how that's a big cultural difference. Since it's not unusual there for young people to not have plans, he enlightened me, people don't even ask. I knew I need to be in Italy!

But it made me think: if no one really has defined plans, why are we always asking about it here? People seem to understand that in this economic climate and with the changing expectations of ages (mainly when most people marry and start a family) that people should have some time to figure things out. My thesis is all about emerging adults developing their identity (shameless plug: Come see my presentation on Celebrating Student Achievement Day!) and how that takes time. Gone are the days of working at one place and leaving decades later with a comfortable pension! It's a rough job market out there. We don't want to be stuck in anything we absolutely hate. Granted none of us are going to find our dream jobs right out of college, but give us a chance to figure out who we are first. Let's have some adventures and turn those experiences into a productive life.