From Angel to...

As an undergraduate at Meredith Angel (with only things like women's rights to avenge), I completed my psychology thesis research in the identity development of young adults, or emerging adults, if you will. This term- now widely used among others like Generation Y, the Millenials- was coined by the researcher J.J. Arnett to define those between 18-25 who are finding-- no stumbling their way from their teenage years into adulthood. This is a period for the privileged middle and upper class of the world, mostly Westerners, to figure out if they are keeping those core values given from their parents or dropping them for any of the endless other choices. I always had a bit of a beef with the age definition because I know plenty of people who are still defining themselves throughout their 20s and into their 30s, and as I approach my 25th birthday (it's merely 2.5 months away) I can't imagine having enough figured enough out to be an adult.

Now, by this point, we all know that my 25 before 25 is not going to be finished. I've worked really hard on these goals, and even completed some big ones, so they'll be upgraded to a 30 before 30. No problem. But also, there are some changes as I continue to work on as I strive to work out some of the uncertainties about who I am and where I'm going both metaphorically and actually. In fact, a huge part of keeping up this blog has been to record and to announce my grand life changes, has it not?

So for a variety of reasons, my Fulbright year helped me realize that I don't want to get into academics. Was I a bit wishy-washy under that kind of freedom and an unclear vision? Sure. But partially I'd like some job mobility, and after some great years of uncertainty, I'm looking forward to any security life can afford. I don't see research or university life rendering these things for me. We may discuss the reasons why to all of these things, but let's just skip that for now and say we're all right. The world is crumbling. Society is changing for the better. Whatever, back to me. (It is my blog after all.)

In exploring the skills and the experiences I had acquired and whatever I could possibly do with them on somewhat my terms, a dear friend Allison suggested I look into consulting over a yummy autumn meal. From there I applied to two great business schools and decided on one as mentioned earlier. This time next year, I'll be graduating from Duke University's Fuqua Business School with a Master's in Management Studies. I'm learning business foundations in 10 months. Think of it like an MBA, Jr. for stinkers like me without the experience to get an MBA.

I'm awfully excited about it. I'm also a bit nervous. In a year (!!!), I'll already be a graduate. And let's be real: I never anything about business studies outside of my half semester of economics as a senior in high school (Many thanks, Mr. David Seidel!). Thankfully, Fuqua's MMS program has set me on a path of pre-program studying, learning how to use Excel's financial functions, calculating future values on investments and profit margins, and other stuff that might bore you to tears if you are one of my typical blog readers. You guys come for the European adventures, I know. I promise, I'll be back there... eventually.

But for now, I'm *surprise!* enjoying soaking in this new knowledge and discovering a foreign side of me. A side that can employ my data analysis skills and creative critical thinking in an unfamiliar atmosphere. Once again I feel like I can offer something to society. I find that I am not reinventing myself, but working on a foundation that's already been prepared with much effort. For some of you, this new career choice may seem like an about-face change, a rejection of who I was. Instead, I delightfully continue to be surprised by another facet to who I am and what I have to offer. What I do as a job simply does not define who I am.

If nothing else, it is a pleasant reminder that I should never be simply complacent, that I can always discover a better version of myself. Passion and opportunities are everywhere, if only we commit to making them our own.

Also, calm down all of you anti-Duke fans. I'm not going to play basketball. I wasn't dealt those cards.

A Return Post

I just checked. The last time that I posted was in September. I'm sorry for all of you that have checked back here and those who have requested an update. October brought some struggles with my grandfather passing away. In November was my first Thanksgiving (and favorite holiday!) away from my family. And in December I missed a very special birthday, got a new roommate, stood by the phone as my brother was entered boot camp, and couldn't help but think about my empty nest parents on their first Christmas without either Jason or me. (Read: I got homesick for my people.)

Meanwhile, there was some real personal adjustment happening within me. I have been learning how to live in an apartment on my own. On the other side of the world. First time paying all of the bills. First time budgeting money. First time shopping for food and feeding myself. Not an easy adjustment to do these things for the first time, but how about in another system? I mean, you think about standing in line for at least half an hour to pay bills at the post office and get back to me if you still think I'm a wimp. Not to mention all of this living is done in another language. One that I'm getting better at, but am still quite far from being an expert. And as for making new friends? I have them and the ones that I have are great (truly AWESOME!!!), but it is a process to create a whole new network of people in a completely new place. (Which is both unsettling and exciting when I think about a move to Washington state in my future.)

And finally, there was my work. Having been out of a good, solid schedule for the almost year I spent at home, I found that I had really lost a great number of my skills as a super productive human being. Not to mention, I set out with this massive project in mind with a loose infrastructure of support on this side of the pond. Don't get me wrong, my professor is great and I have wonderful friends and colleagues in the two other ladies in my lab. But I had to teach myself a new area of the identity research that I loved and didn't have anyone to discuss some of my confusion in the theories. That left me feeling like a fish out of water for sure. As a response, I've also reached out to my professor-to-be in Washington who responds with all the patience and enthusiasm I could ask for in someone who doesn't even owe me anything.

But it's not all woes and tears! I'm happy to say that I'm well on my way to standing on my own. I feel like it all started in a crawl, I'm cruising, slowly pick up speed, and ready to storm straight ahead. Like I said, I have made some wonderful friends and am always opening myself up to new ones through a variety of experiences. My research is moving along. I started volunteering and am enjoying getting to know different women while putting some of my own life in order. I am less self-conscious about speaking Italian in general, but especially to strangers. I got over the homesickness hump and have been making Firenze a familiar place.

Here are some of the highlights during my blog black out, some of which I hope to fill you in on much better later:

Fulbright Orientation in October: Here's a picture of most of us on the Spanish Steps. I met the other borsisti, had some great laughs, and made some new friends.

 

Friendsgiving 2011: Linda and I cooked for two days and we had a feast with all my favorites--food and people alike. I was the turkey assistant at Thanksgiving 2010, but orchestrating it for the first time was a lot to handle. It wouldn't have worked without the wonders of technology and the wisdom of Grams. In the end, I filled up my plate three times and cried because it tasted like home. 

Protest against razzismo: There was an incident here in early December against some Senegalese men and the people of Firenze came out to show how they feel about that. This moment turned out to be a defining one for this city, this community, and my project.

Visit from Corinne: After a total of ten months spent in this country over three years, I had my first official visitor to Italy. Ever. And Corinne and I had a blast in a whirlwind tour of Firenze and Siena.

Christmas: I spent it with my dear boyfriend Gabriele and his family. I'm only sad that I didn't get pictures of the pheasant, dove, and pigeon we ate. I'd never have thought I'd say this, but it was so, so yummy! But easily my favorite part was his amazement (and mine!) to follow the scavenger hunt to his Christmas present in his own house.

New Year's Eve: One of my roommates Laura is Spanish and co-hosted a semi-traditional Spanish New Year's Eve feast. At midnight we ate a grape at every strike of the clock that is meant to represent the respective month of the coming year. I didn't know that until after the fact and was so busy shoving down grapes, 2012 is still going to be a surprise for me.

Private Concert with Pilar: A friend invited Gabriele and I to a private concert, but since he was playing with his band I went with my roommate Giorgia. This artist named Pilar was easily the greatest voice I have ever heard. No pictures from the evening, but here is one of the songs she sang. It was such an intimate experience to sit on the floor with 30 other people in someone's house for an unplugged performance by candlelight!

Visitor's Galore: I had an awesome overlap of friends come to visit at the end of January. First was Natasha and her husband James. Natasha is one of the friends I made during my tenure at Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance. Then one of my best friends and my very first Meredith friend Lauren came to visit. You can find her recount of some of our adventures here (which you should go see since I didn't take any pictures and would just be stealing hers).

Valentine's Day: Gabriele and I had our first Valentine's Day together. We decided that we would stay in and try our hands at some new recipes. Despite being total novices in the kitchen, we lucked out and had an absolutely delicious three course feast of seafood. He did the first course, I made the second (even though the first was way better), and then surprised each other by both having our own dessert. Plus he got me the best looking and smelling (!) bouquet of I have EVER over which everyone on the train ride home was jealous. Just look at that table!

Trip Home: I went to the land of Freedom and Liberty for two weeks. It was easily the fastest time has ever passed for me. I had no intention to return to the United States during my Fulbright year abroad, but when my brother decided to be a Marine, he was whisked away to boot camp at a time when I started to recognize just how important my family was to me. So I took a wild trip, going straight to Parris Island before even seeing home, and surprised my favorite Marine for his graduation. We are so very proud of him!

Las Fallas: Soon after my return from the States, Gabriele and I took a long weekend to Valencia, Spain. In all of my trips to Italy, I had never been outside of the boot, and after hearing the raving over the festival I was determined to go. And Gabriele wanted to come along having been there the year before. Despite being on antibiotics the entire trip, Gabriele was a great tour guide and we had such a wonderful time!

March Madness: In my desire to bring my culture to my little Florentine world and introduce it to some international friends, the NCAA tournament came to Tuscany along with some traditional game time food like the almighty Buffalo chicken wings. In respect to Thanksgiving, this spread felt like a piece of cake (the box kind you can only find in America, not where you have to start from scratch like here). And although it took a bit of trouble to find one streaming across the Atlantic, we eventually ended the night with a basketball game as advertised.


Il Trentissimo: Although I didn't get to plan the party like I hoped, my dear friend Chiara had a week long celebration for her 30th and graciously invited me to two celebrations. The first at the most beautiful Hard Rock, where we ate all-American and danced to Beatles and beach music. The second was a more intimate house party among friends and fun. How can you hate welcoming a new chapter like that?

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I'll do my best to fill these in a bit more and return far more often for your entertainment and my posterity. Can't make any promises because spring has sprung, but keep checking back and I'll see what I can do.

Baci da Firenze!

And it begins...

To start my updates as an official Fulbrighter, I need to remind all of you that this site is not an official site of the U.S. Department of State and that everything expressed here are my own opinions and do not represent the Department of State or the Fulbright Program.

Now that I got that business, I'm here in Italy and doing well, despite some difficult bureaucratic issues getting here. And, might I add, those that I'm continuing to work through being here. The strange thing is not that I'm finally here, but how comfortable Italian life still feels. Part of me wonders if I'm ruined for life as an American because I am spending such "formative adult years" in another language and culture, but I'm willing to take that risk for whatever I'm going to learn in the meantime.

At the moment, I am living with my colleague, and now friend, Valentina. We spoke a few times in email and on Skype and she invited me to live in her home until I found my own place. Italian hospitality at it's finest. Valentina studies under the same professor as I will at the Universita' degli Studi di Firenze (UNIFI) and has very similar research interests. Sometimes when we talk, I feel like I am with a version of myself from an alternate universe. She's almost me, just Italian. But joking aside, I can't imagine how much better my life is and how much easier my transition is thanks to Valentina and her family. I can't imagine how I could ever repay them, other than a trip to Wilmington and the Dawson's Creek sites.

Last weekend we went to a free concert in a nearby town. The square was packed but somehow we ended up directly in front of the stage. I really got into the music and the singer, Paola Turci, is apparently pretty famous. She sang half an 80s song in English and then I heard this song which sounds exactly like this one, which I knew. Apparently it's a cover, but the translation isn't that similar. Plus, the song is Paola's claim to fame. Interesting, no?

Yesterday, we came into the city to get some work done in the dipartimento, but we found the locked doors like this:

One of the political parties had a big old-fashioned sciopero, or strike. Getting home was even difficult because most of the trains were cancelled and those that were going were late and crowded. Sadly, we stood as merely victims to the strike.

But finally today I was able to do some work today and it feels so nice to be busy again. It's a little difficult getting back into the swing of it (especially in a different language), but I just love studying psychology. I know I'm a nerd, but there's just nothing like it. I was just so excited I forgot to eat lunch. Suffering the consequences now (because in Italy you can't just eat whenever you feel like it), but I'll live.