From Angel to...

As an undergraduate at Meredith Angel (with only things like women's rights to avenge), I completed my psychology thesis research in the identity development of young adults, or emerging adults, if you will. This term- now widely used among others like Generation Y, the Millenials- was coined by the researcher J.J. Arnett to define those between 18-25 who are finding-- no stumbling their way from their teenage years into adulthood. This is a period for the privileged middle and upper class of the world, mostly Westerners, to figure out if they are keeping those core values given from their parents or dropping them for any of the endless other choices. I always had a bit of a beef with the age definition because I know plenty of people who are still defining themselves throughout their 20s and into their 30s, and as I approach my 25th birthday (it's merely 2.5 months away) I can't imagine having enough figured enough out to be an adult.

Now, by this point, we all know that my 25 before 25 is not going to be finished. I've worked really hard on these goals, and even completed some big ones, so they'll be upgraded to a 30 before 30. No problem. But also, there are some changes as I continue to work on as I strive to work out some of the uncertainties about who I am and where I'm going both metaphorically and actually. In fact, a huge part of keeping up this blog has been to record and to announce my grand life changes, has it not?

So for a variety of reasons, my Fulbright year helped me realize that I don't want to get into academics. Was I a bit wishy-washy under that kind of freedom and an unclear vision? Sure. But partially I'd like some job mobility, and after some great years of uncertainty, I'm looking forward to any security life can afford. I don't see research or university life rendering these things for me. We may discuss the reasons why to all of these things, but let's just skip that for now and say we're all right. The world is crumbling. Society is changing for the better. Whatever, back to me. (It is my blog after all.)

In exploring the skills and the experiences I had acquired and whatever I could possibly do with them on somewhat my terms, a dear friend Allison suggested I look into consulting over a yummy autumn meal. From there I applied to two great business schools and decided on one as mentioned earlier. This time next year, I'll be graduating from Duke University's Fuqua Business School with a Master's in Management Studies. I'm learning business foundations in 10 months. Think of it like an MBA, Jr. for stinkers like me without the experience to get an MBA.

I'm awfully excited about it. I'm also a bit nervous. In a year (!!!), I'll already be a graduate. And let's be real: I never anything about business studies outside of my half semester of economics as a senior in high school (Many thanks, Mr. David Seidel!). Thankfully, Fuqua's MMS program has set me on a path of pre-program studying, learning how to use Excel's financial functions, calculating future values on investments and profit margins, and other stuff that might bore you to tears if you are one of my typical blog readers. You guys come for the European adventures, I know. I promise, I'll be back there... eventually.

But for now, I'm *surprise!* enjoying soaking in this new knowledge and discovering a foreign side of me. A side that can employ my data analysis skills and creative critical thinking in an unfamiliar atmosphere. Once again I feel like I can offer something to society. I find that I am not reinventing myself, but working on a foundation that's already been prepared with much effort. For some of you, this new career choice may seem like an about-face change, a rejection of who I was. Instead, I delightfully continue to be surprised by another facet to who I am and what I have to offer. What I do as a job simply does not define who I am.

If nothing else, it is a pleasant reminder that I should never be simply complacent, that I can always discover a better version of myself. Passion and opportunities are everywhere, if only we commit to making them our own.

Also, calm down all of you anti-Duke fans. I'm not going to play basketball. I wasn't dealt those cards.

Calling all good cookies!

Alright, y'all! I need your help. Remember that 25 before 25? I'm still chugging along with that. I'm almost done with the second step of my dual citizenship (there are 29384 steps, it seems). I am working on that español, reading my Shakespeare, and working on a few other things simultaneously. But we've got a big one coming up FRIDAY and SATURDAY!

I'm working with Theatre Alliance of Winston-Salem on a bake sale and we are raising money for Cookies for Kids' Cancer on November 30-December 1 in connection with opening weekend of Sordid Lives (get your tickets here). Cookies for Kids' Cancer is a 501 (c)(3) that raises funds for pediatric cancer research. All of the funds will be matched by the OXO home supply and GLAD products companies! (If you plan on participating in a cookie exchange, check out the Cookies website to see how you can get them some money, too!) Our volunteers will be contributing their own goodies (and not just cookies!) so if you're in the area, please stop by!

On a more personal note, some people have asked why Cookies for Kids' Cancer. Well, in making my 25 before 25 list, I wanted a shout out to strong women and my alma mater Meredith College. My graduating class became extremely involved with this non-profit, the story of a Meredith sister and her heroic son, and it was a roller coaster ride I'll never forget. Gretchen Holt Witt gave the keynote address at my graduation and I remember feeling like she had make the most of what was delivered to her and went far beyond anyone's expectations. She and those working for Cookies for Kids' Cancer, formally as employees (who are all amazing to work with if you were interested in hosting your own bake sale!), or as other bakers just like my dear friends, or as donors, have made great strides towards helping children--and in an ingenious manner at that!

Relistening to Gretchen's speech and reading about Liam's all too short, beautiful life made me reflect on where I come from, the community I have around me, and the tremendous opportunities I can make for the better of others in the simplest ways. So back in August, I listed hosting a bake sale on my 25 things in an attempt to not make a completely selfish activities. It was a little gesture, but my how much I have absorbed from this moment in the attempts to serve worthily a cause so meaningful! The opportunities are endless for what each of us can do to improve the world. All it takes is that we have a little responsibility in respect to our neighbors.

I'd sincerely love to see you Friday afternoon from 12:30-3pm and before and after the shows which start at 8pm Friday and Saturday night. If you can't be there and still want to contribute to the cause, follow the link to make a donation on our giving page. A big thanks to Theatre Alliance for helping me cross another one off my list and to you good cookies for being along on the journey!

Update 29 November 2012: HUGE thanks to Robert and Bob's Big Gas and Subs for offering to donate some goodies for the cause. Y'all, those subs and baked pickles are the best!

Words of Wisdom

Back at the beginning of September I wrote a post about defining success and two of my favorite poems. Just recently two of my very best friends Jenn and Sheryl graduated from Meredith College and the last two weekends I couldn't be prouder to have had the great opportunity to celebrate their achievements. I was asked to give a speech at Sheryl's graduation party and at my mother's request, I'm posting it here for all of you. When putting to pen to paper, I come to a lot of personal realizations. You'll recognize the poem, but bear with me reusing material (it's really powerful, though), and enjoy my ever developing conclusions!

First and foremost, congratulations Sheryl on completing college and doing so with such growth and achievement. I hope you recognize what you have done for yourself and take this period to be really proud. That was the hardest thing for me to do just seven months ago and one of the few regrets from my own college experience. So enjoy this time because both you and now I know there are greater struggles in your near future than even those you dealt with as a Meredith student.

And so, upon reflecting, I decided to speak about just that – recognizing success. I’ve spent much of my young life pursuing “success” and along the way have asked so many people I consider successful to provide me with their memoirs and road maps so I could get there, too. Now most of you know, but for those of you who don’t, let’s just say I don’t feel like I’ve quite achieved it all yet. So when considering what to share with you, Sheryl, I don’t think I have much authority to say a lot yet. But because I wanted to talk about success quite badly, instead I resolved to distribute the golden nuggets I caught from others along the way. They’ve been useful thus far and figured they couldn’t hurt you either.

So to begin as far back as I can remember, Mrs. Spach, my second grade teacher taught me that I didn’t need to cry about everything and that I could deal with some things on my own. Clearly, I’m still working on some of these things, but she was the first person to tell me that I could make things happen.

Later at the end of the most awful seventh grade ever recorded, Mr. Becker reminded me that some offenses just need to be put to rest so we can revel in the good times.

In high school, the former French military man turned teacher Mr. Tourret directed the student government and I was secretary. One day, taking a break from revolutionizing the school governing system, he told me that there were three types of people in the world. The vast majority were those who transported pianos. Then there were those who played the piano. He told me that I should always try to be in the very small elite group – those who appreciate the music. While I know what he was saying, I think it’s very French. I have since come to believe it’s important to have the muscles to move the piano and the know-how to play because that’s what makes listening to the tune even sweeter.

Then P.T.A. at lovely old Bishop McGuinness brought in Australian life coach Matthew Kelley. Although his book was poorly written, he said something that changed my life and became one of my personal mantras: Be the best version of yourself. In every area of your life – whether that be your career, romantic, friendship, or family relationships, your health, spirituality, or whatever – we should surround ourselves with people, ideas, and practices that make us a better.

Going off to college, my parents reminded me of the same phrases I had always heard from them. Mom said, “Just do your best. And when you do it, you should walk away from every situation satisfied because you know there’s nothing else you can do.” Dad, on the other hand, told me, “Make friends with the custodians, guards, and lunch ladies because they’re the ones with the real power. And make conversation with the elderly because they have the real wisdom.” Words to live by.

At Meredith, my advisor, sweet Dr. O’Dekirk never said anything in particular, but he did have an open door and chair just my size whenever I needed it. That, for me, spoke louder than most others’ words.

My two Italian professors, first Max at Meredith, then Rita during my semester in Siena told me to seek out adventure and trust my heart. But they both warned me to keep my heart open because sometimes what you thought you always wanted will be different at decision time.

Jeff, the ex-pat from Boston, taught me my favorite Italian phrase: “La vita si rinnova,” or “Life renews itself.” Because there are times, he shared, that success is just waking up in the morning.

In a similar strain, is the definition of success I learned from my best friend and college roommate Abbey. Being there through it all, she gave me plenty of hugs and matter of factly informed me, “Move on to the next thing.” Surely, if success couldn’t be found just where I was, it couldn’t be far away…as long as I kept moving forward.

So although I set out to explicitly define success for myself some time ago, I still rely heavily on the sound bites and memories I’ve collected from those I love and who I am lucky enough to be loved by. Yet the closest I ever came to my own definition brings me to my Meredith onyx and my favorite poem…s.

Many recognize the poem “Success” attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson which starts “To laugh often and much” and proceeds to list great things (in every sense of greatness) until the final line and inscription in my onyx: “This is to have succeeded.” But in the name of womanhood, I would like to read the original written by Bessie Stanley. And, Sheryl, as you listen today, call to mind those successes you’ve had and prepare yourself for those in your future.

Success

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;

Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children;

Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;

Who has left the world better than he found it whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;

Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth’s beauty or failed to express it;

Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;

Whose life was an inspiration;

Whose memory a benediction.

 Once again, congratulations Sheryl and good luck on your future successes. 

When the South comes to town

Of course, my mind is oriented toward coming home. There's only a week left here to enjoy Italian life and finish up business, then I'm back to the States. But to my surprise, I got a strange preview of live back home this past weekend.

Friday night, I went to a local bar gig to watch some of my friends play in their band called The Last to Knows. (Yes, they're completely aware that the name is grammatically incorrect.) The Last to Knows are a pop-punk country/folk band of six Italians from the district of Siena. The lead Mattia writes the songs and sings...always in English. Have any of them been to the South? That seems to be an irrelevant point, but I'll have you know that they have the heart. Three of the guys also performed live on the radio Sunday--after which we had the most awesome dinner of specialty meat, cheese, and olives which we washed down with some tasty IPAs. Oh, the joys of simple life.

I must admit that I was left wondering during the concert Friday night and then on Sunday as Mattia spoke to the disk jockey, what did Italians understand when they hear their music? Now, don't get me wrong, Mattia's English is great. Sure, lyrics are sometimes hard to decipher, but that's the case with any singer. (I just found out the lyrics to this jem are "Just stay close at hand" and not "Just because I asked." Rocked my world.) Although I still think Mattia should get a tutor with a drawl.... But then there's the question of what do they think of the sound? Italians are pretty used to getting inundated with music from the Anglophones, but this is no Lady Gaga or Katy Perry. I guess all that matters is that there was a packed bar Friday and, I assume, some radio listeners out there on Sunday.

Back to the point: if you want to listen to some of The Last to Knows' recent recordings you can download their newest songs, listen to some older ones, or just watch my poor quality video clip (cut short since the file was so big). Also, I only have a point and shoot and Friday night's concert was at not an ideal location for picture taking, but here are a few anyway.

Not everyone likes to be center stage.

Hardest to photograph. The most fun to watch.

 

Saturday, I bribed Gabriele into driving me to Sansepolcro with promises of lots of good food and company. Upon arrival, we were picked up by Sara, had a wonderful lunch prepared by Patrizio, and were entertained by Leonardo, Ginevra, and Veronica. Beyond the fun that children bring to life and the great warmth I feel when I'm at their home, one of the best things about seeing this wonderful family again was being able to actually "speak." I met them at the end of my first trip to Italy and Patrizio just couldn't believe I was following his point about bike racing in detail. Like I said before, it's the simple things, people. :)

Aren't we the cutest?

I was also able to visit Palazzo Alberti and visit with Dr. Betty Webb, John Rose, and the ragazze from Meredith College. We just happened to arrive on the day in which Palazzo Alberti was celebrating a year in Sansepolcro. As a result there was an open house birthday party complete with cake and prosecco. It was wonderful to see how Meredith has started to become a real part of the community. You could hear both English and Italian floating around the room, along with the most important language, MereCollian (or Meredith-ese? I don't know. I just made it up.).

This one was an exclusive tongue known only by a few of us. For instance, Dr. Webb introduced me to some of the students as 2010's Senior Tall Tale and although I didn't know most of them, I was instantly recognized as being a part of Cornhuskin'. Of course it was a mystery to the other guests because...all toooooogether now: You just have to experience it! But it was nice to find others out in the real world who made "good ol' Meredith, Meredith ol' MC" their home, too.

Coming back soon!

There is life.

There is life here after graduation. I was soooo ready for it to come, but if I might be honest, I'm not sure what to do with myself now. The weekend was beautiful from the ceremonies to the weather to the love and pride that hung in the air. But now I am beyond compulsory education and the four extra years I was blessed enough to get. I've actively chosen to have a year to be selfish and go against expectations. But as I stood in the Courtyard (I'm the one with all the blankets) lining up for Commencement, I got nervous. I realized that I was officially loosing the part of my identity I had made central to who I was for so many years: I would no longer be a student.

Now it'd be easy for me to argue that I'm always going to be a student. Life is certainly a worthy teacher. I think I know mostly who I am and then I find out that there's so much more to learn. But that's hokey. And then even when, not if, I move on to graduate school, the dynamics will be different. I'll be more of a peer researcher then just a student. Like now. With that degree in my hand, I've really earned something. Professors from Meredith are requesting I call them by their first names and be their Facebook friends. Things have changed.

But I won't sit out on this next year. There are plenty of things to do: Play with friends. Write. Find a job...and make some money, or enough to survive. Read some fun books. Watch my ever growing list of "Movies I Must See to Be a Cultured Human Being." See some live theater. Learn to cook a few new meals. Make some plans. Have adventures. Prove to myself there is indeed life after school.

I think I'm drowning. Asphyxiated.

Dear MereCo,

Please accept this break up song from me as my two week notice.

Many thanks,
Sam

Extra quarters to meet the boss

I'm working as diligently as possible these days because things are coming down to the wire. I've got a big presentation Saturday, paper drafts, more presentations, tests, quizzes....Blah, blah, blah. The hardest part of all of this mess is that I still care. (That's something I really didn't expect.) I still want things to be fantastic and show all of the work that I've done, not the stuff I feel like I'm producing now. I know I'm gonna get through this, but it's weird how this month has become the most impossible of my four year career. And that's saying something in respect to sophomore year.

I was talking with a fellow nerd yesterday who told me that my life's just like a video game. This is the final level. The part where you meet the big boss/monster/nemesis and it takes a bit more getting through. He told me to have some coins at hand for the next few weeks, just in case I'd need some extra time/lives. Here's to putting my initials up on the high score list and moving on to something more meaningful.

Keep it loose, keep it tight.

I have decided that April is the Devil's month...especially if you are graduating. It's brought wonderful sun that just gets too hot, pollen that I have to wipe off my legs it's so thick, and allllllllll kinds of deadlines. Sometimes I sit down and have to talk myself away from a panic attack and just put stuff into perspective. I know it's just a few weeks. I know it's just a few papers. In my head, I know all of these things. But for some reason they get to be too much. So, I've been treating myself to some good people and good fun for the past two days. Shock and awe!

Last night I went to the Amos Lee concert at the Lincoln Theater with the wonderful Lormarev. It was perfect for enough reasons that I will enumerate them for you:

1. The space was pretty nice and are bringing in some pretty nifty artists. I would recommend it. Although the crowd was...interesting. Let's just say that we were standing close enough that there were some real attention seekers, which is just awkward in a public place with low lights.
2. Amos is adorable in so many ways. His voice is sultry and just makes me melt. He played some new stuff that was so touching (so exciting!!!) and some of my favorites, including a cover of Queen. It can only help that he's a pretty good lookin' man. ;) Also, the group was wonderfully nerdy, which I always appreciate. We got there to catch the end of Amos's opening act, Mutlu. This guy had a surprisingly sweet voice come from his burly body and played this hilarious, recently released original.
3. Lormarev is a jem. I'm so blessed to have her friendship and her insight. I aspire to have the conviction and thoughtfulness that she displays so consistently. Not to mention, she's a pretty talented chick who invites me to all kinds of awesome shows. Jealous, yet?

Tonight was Senior Inductions which was pretty entertaining for more reasons than I am willing to admit to, but there were plenty that I don't mind mentioning. First off, I didn't realize how much I was missing out on so many people in my life. I had a fantastic time socializing with people I don't get to see as often as I would like. There were a couple speakers who were wonderfully sassy and gave fitting words to a class like ours and gratefully reassured me that there is a life after Meredith and that it will figure itself out. (Love to hear that these days!) But I LOVE our doll, Iris Elizabeth Green. I think she's perfect! And although it's not realllllly me...the Suess suitcase will always be in my heart and now in Johnson Hall! Yay!

A few of us gals went to the Red Room (a little pricey for a college student budget, although they run a lot of specials) and had a relaxing dinner of paella and sangria. These moments are what I remind myself of when I'm working really hard all alone at random hours in the day and into the craziest hours of the night/morning. But it was chill and exactly the extra cushion I needed. I also talked to the DJ to ask about a really awesome song and he burned me a CD with great stuff on it. I'm a fan.

So here's to hoping that these recreation hours can output some solid work! But for now, sleep because the circles under my eyes are the worst I've ever seen. I'm thinking I should try to figure out how to make the sleep deprived look classy....

32 days.

Whew. There's a lot to do. No more breaks. So many activities it's making my head spin (1:35--and excuse the bad language for the sweet humor)! I'm looking forward to, but the hours still add up. I just realized that I have to complete 3 projects I've been working on for 1 semester, 1 year, and 2 years. Not to mention the other classes. Yikes. I keep telling myself that if I cut it all down into tiny pieces it won't be a problem. But no matter what I do I just see BIG LISTS. I don't really see how I'm going to win here...unless I look at my miserable bracket that still kinda won. And that kinda winning is the only winning I'll be doing now in life. Ugh.

But I've decided that owning one of these is clearly the only viable solution to solving all of my problems.

So I'm told

So I'm told that there are 24 working days remaining in the current school year at Meredith College. That's five and a half weeks plus finals. It's hard to believe that it's coming to a close, but I'm pretty ready. I feel like I've done everything that I came here to do in four years and am plenty ready for the next adventure. Still, I can empathize on some level with the various reactions on the spectrum of graduation.

Let's face it; graduating from undergraduate is no small feat! Many people don't have the opportunity or privilege to get to this point in their formal education. But it's important to keep it all in perspective. One of my classes this semester (which seems like a hodge podge class based on the things that we seem "to cover") discussed about how popular culture seemed to make high school appear like it was the end of life as you knew it.

Prom was supposed to be the culmination of all your worth and if you were a loser your senior year, you were nothing. Some people even returned to high school to make things "right." (And that's just a sampling of some of the classics, if you will.) My friend Jen pointed out that more recently (read: mostly post-1990s except for a real classic), college, which is slightly more accessible, has filled that role. Anyway, the point really is that I don't want my life to end now as much as I didn't want it to end when high school is over.

If anything, I think formal milestones like these should be an opportunity to renew your dedication to making your life whatever you want it to be. Specifically making sure that each day is a chance to make your ideas about the worth of what you are doing reflected in how hard you live life. So live life hard! I'm not saying there aren't things that I will recall with some amount of nostalgia, but that's the way memory works. Still doesn't mean that I want to be an undergraduate at Meredith College forever. Love it and leave it, or so I'm told.