14 December 2010

Words of Wisdom

Back at the beginning of September I wrote a post about defining success and two of my favorite poems. Just recently two of my very best friends Jenn and Sheryl graduated from Meredith College and the last two weekends I couldn't be prouder to have had the great opportunity to celebrate their achievements. I was asked to give a speech at Sheryl's graduation party and at my mother's request, I'm posting it here for all of you. When putting to pen to paper, I come to a lot of personal realizations. You'll recognize the poem, but bear with me reusing material (it's really powerful, though), and enjoy my ever developing conclusions!
First and foremost, congratulations Sheryl on completing college and doing so with such growth and achievement. I hope you recognize what you have done for yourself and take this period to be really proud. That was the hardest thing for me to do just seven months ago and one of the few regrets from my own college experience. So enjoy this time because both you and now I know there are greater struggles in your near future than even those you dealt with as a Meredith student.
And so, upon reflecting, I decided to speak about just that – recognizing success. I’ve spent much of my young life pursuing “success” and along the way have asked so many people I consider successful to provide me with their memoirs and road maps so I could get there, too. Now most of you know, but for those of you who don’t, let’s just say I don’t feel like I’ve quite achieved it all yet. So when considering what to share with you, Sheryl, I don’t think I have much authority to say a lot yet. But because I wanted to talk about success quite badly, instead I resolved to distribute the golden nuggets I caught from others along the way. They’ve been useful thus far and figured they couldn’t hurt you either.
So to begin as far back as I can remember, Mrs. Spach, my second grade teacher taught me that I didn’t need to cry about everything and that I could deal with some things on my own. Clearly, I’m still working on some of these things, but she was the first person to tell me that I could make things happen.
Later at the end of the most awful seventh grade ever recorded, Mr. Becker reminded me that some offenses just need to be put to rest so we can revel in the good times.
In high school, the former French military man turned teacher Mr. Tourret directed the student government and I was secretary. One day, taking a break from revolutionizing the school governing system, he told me that there were three types of people in the world. The vast majority were those who transported pianos. Then there were those who played the piano. He told me that I should always try to be in the very small elite group – those who appreciate the music. While I know what he was saying, I think it’s very French. I have since come to believe it’s important to have the muscles to move the piano and the know-how to play because that’s what makes listening to the tune even sweeter.
Then P.T.A. at lovely old Bishop McGuinness brought in Australian life coach Matthew Kelley. Although his book was poorly written, he said something that changed my life and became one of my personal mantras: Be the best version of yourself. In every area of your life – whether that be your career, romantic, friendship, or family relationships, your health, spirituality, or whatever – we should surround ourselves with people, ideas, and practices that make us a better.
Going off to college, my parents reminded me of the same phrases I had always heard from them. Mom said, “Just do your best. And when you do it, you should walk away from every situation satisfied because you know there’s nothing else you can do.” Dad, on the other hand, told me, “Make friends with the custodians, guards, and lunch ladies because they’re the ones with the real power. And make conversation with the elderly because they have the real wisdom.” Words to live by.
At Meredith, my advisor, sweet Dr. O’Dekirk never said anything in particular, but he did have an open door and chair just my size whenever I needed it. That, for me, spoke louder than most others’ words.
My two Italian professors, first Max at Meredith, then Rita during my semester in Siena told me to seek out adventure and trust my heart. But they both warned me to keep my heart open because sometimes what you thought you always wanted will be different at decision time.
Jeff, the ex-pat from Boston, taught me my favorite Italian phrase: “La vita si rinnova,” or “Life renews itself.” Because there are times, he shared, that success is just waking up in the morning.
In a similar strain, is the definition of success I learned from my best friend and college roommate Abbey. Being there through it all, she gave me plenty of hugs and matter of factly informed me, “Move on to the next thing.” Surely, if success couldn’t be found just where I was, it couldn’t be far away…as long as I kept moving forward.
So although I set out to explicitly define success for myself some time ago, I still rely heavily on the sound bites and memories I’ve collected from those I love and who I am lucky enough to be loved by. Yet the closest I ever came to my own definition brings me to my Meredith onyx and my favorite poem…s.
Many recognize the poem “Success” attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson which starts “To laugh often and much” and proceeds to list great things (in every sense of greatness) until the final line and inscription in my onyx: “This is to have succeeded.” But in the name of womanhood, I would like to read the original written by Bessie Stanley. And, Sheryl, as you listen today, call to mind those successes you’ve had and prepare yourself for those in your future.
Success
He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children;
Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
Who has left the world better than he found it whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth’s beauty or failed to express it;
Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;
Whose life was an inspiration;
Whose memory a benediction.

 Once again, congratulations Sheryl and good luck on your future successes. 

09 December 2010

I've been demoted.

Demoted to middle school - and I love it! Well, it's only been two days, but I'm all about this new part-time job. I watch a group of kids from two local middle schools until their parents or guardians can pick them up. And by stating that I "watch" these kids, I mean hang out. Yesterday I was schooled in how to complete the Rubik's cube in 2 minutes barely trying by M. And then today I earned bruises and broken blood vessels playing volleyball for the first time in 5.5 years with A.

It might be a little early to say, but I think this is the easiest job I've ever had. I won't lie to you, I was pretty nervous when I first accepted the job. To use the simplest euphemism I could imagine, my middle school years weren't my favorite. I don't think they were anyone's best years unless you are my friend Molly Hart. Gosh, that lady's thebomb.com and basically the coolest in general (Proof: She works for NPR). Anyway, I had a little chat with her because she's a Middle Schooler Whisperer. During our talk Molly gave me some advice on how to deal with them that made me realize there's not too much of a difference between the middle schoolers and me. We're in between. We want to be "adults"...whatever that means. We feel misunderstood and want someone to care. And at the end of the day we just want to have fun.

So I see this employment being a good one and have introduced a new label in anticipation: middle school madness. And although it's only 2 or 3 hours a day, it's an income of sorts... which works now that I have a new car! Dad sold me his 2009 Toyota Corolla "with all the bells and whistles" as he says.

Glamor shot from tuningnews.net
We're feeling each other out, so, no, he doesn't have a name yet. But I did want to introduce him because it's SO EXCITING! I mean, as long as I don't think about the payments I'm making. So much for that "adult" thing.

30 November 2010

“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.” - G. K. Chesterson

I've never thought of my hometown as a very exciting place, but I've got to work with what's at hand right now so I've been looking for the adventure wherever I can find it. And rather than use words, I'll rely on the pictures I've taken to share the stories. First up is visiting Mom's second grade class complete with Cranberry Centers and a Thanksgiving feast with the kindergardeners.

Describing cranberries like a scientist.
My partner for Cranberry Centers and I at the taste testing.
What's your favorite cranberry treat: juice, bread, or sauce?
Cranberries: sink or swim?
The feast! Turkey sandwiches, popcorn, grapes (from the cornucopia), and milk (...from the cows?).
You know, just like the pilgrims.

Uh, yum!

I'm pretty sure that my daughter will be JUST like this little girl. She's gonna be an astronaut. 


Then was catching up with one of my best and oldest friends Shane who was in town for the weekend. We went bowling and Christmas shopping...which gave us the excuse to "Kinect." I had such a great time, but that should never be much of a surprise when you're rolling with this guy.

He's as silly as the day I met him. Just geriatric now. 
He's a master in the lanes, but he can't beat his mom on the Wii.
Look at that form! And with the slight curve at the end, that's what a spare looks like, people.
If I had an extra $149 lying around, I would have bought this in a second. So fun! 
And to close on the recent adventures, Mom and I had some great bonding time decorating our gingerbread house. It took 2 HOURS to do that tiny thing, but balancing our different visions and compulsions equaled a pretty awesome house.


And doesn't it look yummy enough to eat?!?
So maybe these are a different breed of marvels and mishaps than those you would find galvanting around Italy but I'm certainly enjoying myself. I guess that just goes to show you: "Adventure is out there!"

20 November 2010

They say when it rains, it pours...

If that's the case, I'm in the middle of a quarter-life monsoon. Things are adding up and, in contrast with my last post, it's getting difficult to just be and to stay positive about everything. Yes, I'm unemployed, which is a doozy, but then there's more.

The most recent tragedy issue of my life that caused me to have a break down I'm trying to deal with responsibly is a car wreck. My poor Sonny! It seems that it just won't be worth the investment to repair him which feels like I'm mourning the loss of a friend. And as a result, I've been car shopping (which is just a big pain) and generally trying to decide what the best move is to make. There are plenty of questions to mull over: What if I get a job and move to a city where there's no need for a car? What if I get the Fulbright and am back in Italy in a few months? Super inconvenient timing to be dealing with this stuff, but I'm told that's what you find under the definition of "life" in the Dictionary of Hard Knocks.

And then there's other issues of my luck: I found a great 2008 car with good gas economy, low mileage, and awesome crash ratings at a decent price. It even had satellite radio, auxiliary for your iPod, and some thing so you could sync up your phone contacts...but it didn't have cruise control! Sorry, Mr. Sleazy Salesman, but I won't be going backwards in time.

And as if I didn't have enough inquiry and uncertainty, there are all kinds of personal questions floating around: What can I do to make my situation better? How can I behave to be sure that I stand by my ideals? Am I even growing up? I feel a bit out of control here which occasionally leads to spouts of hopelessness. People are growing and doing things and I feel stuck in the mud. I know this state is temporary, but this transition from where I was to where I'm going is far from easy. Like I said, I never expected it all to fall into place, but...something?...anything?!?

With my luck, it'll all come too quickly and I won't know what to do. Typical. But for now I've adopted a new - hopefully temporary - perspective which I like to call "positive pessimism." And the meaning? Expect everything to go wrong (because it will)...and then just stay positive anyway. It's my umbrella in these stormy conditions. To clear skies and better news - CHEERS!

12 November 2010

Why I LOVE being unemployed.

It was only a matter of time before this post came out of me. Now you know I'm not much of a "do nothing-er." My family might argue with me, but besides the occasional long weekend vacation, I was never much a fan of not having something to do. I mean, how many kids hated summer vacation because it meant no structure? I can count at least one and that's me. And while the list isn't very long, I have come to find some benefits of not having a job. So, in no particular order, here goes nothing:



1. I have time to read. I love reading all kinds of things. Books, magazines, short stories, articles. I spend hours online moving from one website to another looking at the news or reading up on the latest research. One of the greatest gifts my parents ever bought me was a Kindle which I get a heck a lot of use out of, especially with all the free books they offer. I'm well on my way through the Harry Potter series...again, am rereading Dante's Inferno because it's just genius, and have great plans to go through the works of Mark Twain soon. My grandma used to ask me how I could be reading so many different things at once, but it's like changing the channel on the television for me. I just find it much more enriching.

2. I exercise at least an hour a day. I never really put my health as a priority in my life, but over the last year have learned some great reasons why I should. And to tell you the truth, it's been pretty interesting. Surely, that's not easy, but the challenge is part of the fun. Let's be real. There's not much else egging me on, is there? And besides, it's autumn in North Carolina. Why wouldn't you want to be outside if you had nothing else to do?!? After my usual run (I'm up to two miles now!), I returned to my route with Daddy and the puppies just to take these pictures. Don't you wish you were unemployed, too?
  



It's blurry, but the trees know something of color gradation. ROY G. is just missing a little BIV.


3. I'm practicing in the kitchen. This is both scary and ridiculously entertaining knowing how little experience I had or ever wanted cooking, but I have to say, it's starting to grow on me. Especially after starting this healthy lifestyle kick, I've been working on "my housewife skills." Ha. Hahahahaha. Veeeeeeeeeeery funny.
4. I can schedule my time as I wish. There are no problems if I want to pick up and go visit friends or do something with my family. Earlier this week I wasn't feeling great so I moved from the bed to the couch and took a nice long nap. One of my biggest flaws is time management, but I'm definitely getting a better sense of how long it takes me to do things and how all those things pass the hours of the day. So what if I didn't get everything done as I planned? I'll just do it tomorrow. :)

Of course there are disappointments that come along with the benefits of unemployment. I wish I had something to do during the day that was productive to society and myself. And then there are days where it feels like things are never going to change. Today while applying for education loan deferment (on the grounds of unemployment, of course) I signed up for a new online job search agency. I uploaded my resume and then read this great message...


with no recommendations. It was good for a laugh, but I can't say I don't get discouraged. It's not the time to be a job snob, but for now I've just got to keep applying, waiting, and being thankful for the time I have to be unemployed.

08 November 2010

"Love is the only gold." --Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The writer Rob Heinlein said, "Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own," and that was exactly what I witnessed this weekend. My maternal grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary on November 5th and the family went down to visit.

And by family, I mean alllllllll the family. And friends. From 50 years. There was a big party with good food and drinks with fun music and great company...and everyone had a ball! And I was able to show my anniversary gift to my grandparents and the guests.


Making this video was so much fun for me! I absolutely loved looking through pictures and hearing stories while recording the video. There's nothing quite like learning about and loving your family!

But the most wonderful thing about this weekend was really seeing the love between my grandparents. These two have been through a lot, as you could imagine, living their lives together. I've been thinking recently about loyalty, respect, and love and to witness two people celebrate sharing those qualities for their 50th year together with a community of people who have supported, loved and been touched by them along the way makes me certain that those characteristics are just as important as they ever have been

29 October 2010

I'm back in the United States for one week. Unfortunately there's not much to report. I've been doing a lot of organizing, cooking, watching decent television, and applying for jobs. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat again.

Mostly I've gotten used to moving back and forth between Italian and American cultures. But there are things that I certainly miss about living in Italy. The first thing is the walking. Or just general accessibility to other places. I'm going tomorrow to get my car which has been stored while I was away. I've driven a bit, but I hate that I can't just walk 10 minutes to the grocery store or just to look at my favorite windows.

Which brings me to numero due: window shopping. I barely spent money on non-edible items or "experiences." It's part of my travel philosophy, but then it's also just a practical case. You can't go with one suitcase and accumulate too much. Still I loved to waste time just walking around and looking at the windows. Normally you don't go into a store in Italy unless you have the intention to buy, so the merchants spend considerable time putting those windows together as bait. Just stunning.

And while I could go on about lots of things, what I notice, but don't necessarily miss, is the anxiety of speaking with strangers. Most of the time I like to talk to people I don't know just to be friendly. I get it from my momma. Or maybe I'm kind of Southern. Either way, I find talking to O.P.s, or "other people," to be a neat way to meet different kinds of people and learn things I never would have known before that conversation. The thing is that talking with O.P.s is infinitely more difficult when you have to speak your second language. What if you don't know a word? How about if you can't understand something? These are feelings you get used to with time and lots of practice, but I like being able to make jokes and to lead conversations sometimes.

I miss some parts of living in Italy, but I could get used to this.

24 October 2010

Lessons Learned 3.0

When asked how I'd like to spend my final moments in Rome, I'll admire art.

I should always prepare for my trip to and from Italy to be at least 5 hours longer than expected. 

While traveling I should be as padded as a linebacker. Too many bruises.

No matter how old you are, you can always run into Momma Bear's arms.

A brother is the best friends a girl can have. Best friends are the sisters she never got.

I can live at home (at least for now) happily unemployed.

“There's nothing half so pleasant as coming home again.” --Margaret Elizabeth Sangster

20 October 2010

Homeward bound

This entry will be the shortest I will probably ever write:

I'M COMING HOME!!!!!

Sure I'm a little sad to be leaving my friends and Italy. But I miss my family and friends back home. And I'm ready for some new adventures. So stay posted for those from the domestic side of the Atlantic.

Until next time!

13 October 2010

When the South comes to town

Of course, my mind is oriented toward coming home. There's only a week left here to enjoy Italian life and finish up business, then I'm back to the States. But to my surprise, I got a strange preview of live back home this past weekend.

Friday night, I went to a local bar gig to watch some of my friends play in their band called The Last to Knows. (Yes, they're completely aware that the name is grammatically incorrect.) The Last to Knows are a pop-punk country/folk band of six Italians from the district of Siena. The lead Mattia writes the songs and sings...always in English. Have any of them been to the South? That seems to be an irrelevant point, but I'll have you know that they have the heart. Three of the guys also performed live on the radio Sunday--after which we had the most awesome dinner of specialty meat, cheese, and olives which we washed down with some tasty IPAs. Oh, the joys of simple life.

I must admit that I was left wondering during the concert Friday night and then on Sunday as Mattia spoke to the disk jockey, what did Italians understand when they hear their music? Now, don't get me wrong, Mattia's English is great. Sure, lyrics are sometimes hard to decipher, but that's the case with any singer. (I just found out the lyrics to this jem are "Just stay close at hand" and not "Just because I asked." Rocked my world.) Although I still think Mattia should get a tutor with a drawl.... But then there's the question of what do they think of the sound? Italians are pretty used to getting inundated with music from the Anglophones, but this is no Lady Gaga or Katy Perry. I guess all that matters is that there was a packed bar Friday and, I assume, some radio listeners out there on Sunday.

Back to the point: if you want to listen to some of The Last to Knows' recent recordings you can download their newest songs, listen to some older ones, or just watch my poor quality video clip (cut short since the file was so big). Also, I only have a point and shoot and Friday night's concert was at not an ideal location for picture taking, but here are a few anyway.




Not everyone likes to be center stage.

Hardest to photograph. The most fun to watch.


 

Saturday, I bribed Gabriele into driving me to Sansepolcro with promises of lots of good food and company. Upon arrival, we were picked up by Sara, had a wonderful lunch prepared by Patrizio, and were entertained by Leonardo, Ginevra, and Veronica. Beyond the fun that children bring to life and the great warmth I feel when I'm at their home, one of the best things about seeing this wonderful family again was being able to actually "speak." I met them at the end of my first trip to Italy and Patrizio just couldn't believe I was following his point about bike racing in detail. Like I said before, it's the simple things, people. :)

Aren't we the cutest?
I was also able to visit Palazzo Alberti and visit with Dr. Betty Webb, John Rose, and the ragazze from Meredith College. We just happened to arrive on the day in which Palazzo Alberti was celebrating a year in Sansepolcro. As a result there was an open house birthday party complete with cake and prosecco. It was wonderful to see how Meredith has started to become a real part of the community. You could hear both English and Italian floating around the room, along with the most important language, MereCollian (or Meredith-ese? I don't know. I just made it up.).

This one was an exclusive tongue known only by a few of us. For instance, Dr. Webb introduced me to some of the students as 2010's Senior Tall Tale and although I didn't know most of them, I was instantly recognized as being a part of Cornhuskin'. Of course it was a mystery to the other guests because...all toooooogether now: You just have to experience it! But it was nice to find others out in the real world who made "good ol' Meredith, Meredith ol' MC" their home, too.

Coming back soon!

06 October 2010

Too much excitement

There's a point in every world-traveler's experience in which she feels too far from home. After all this time in Siena, I've always known that life went along as per usual with the natural ups and downs. I know this fact because I've had them for my own, but it's difficult to remember they go on at home, too. This weekend my little brother Jason (who, in fact, is not so little but a young man in his own right) was pretty sick. Hospital sick. I'm happy to report that he is back to his quite silly self, but I spent plenty of hours in "big sister mode."

My parents and grandparents kept me as informed as possible and reassured me of his general well-being. I appreciate the network and trust their information, but there was nothing that could stop me from having Jay in the back of my mind. At every moment. It didn't matter that I spent a wonderful day in Florence examining the most beautiful art. I couldn't care less about engaging myself at a dinner with Italians. I had no will to celebrate receiving Fulbright recommendations (and therefore nearly finishing my application) or to bask in the glory of surviving my first Nordic walk. I went on with these activities because I was ensured Jason was okay and because I've learned that is what I have to do to live my life: I keep moving forward.

The most interesting realization made during this time was knowing that I still have a desire to move on and away. Whether I'm here in Italy or anywhere else, I am trying to make a life for myself and haven't finished exploring quite yet. Heck, I've just started! My family and I are getting used to this fact and we're all learning how to communicate despite the distance. I'm quite so thankful to them and all my wonderful support system for bearing with me as I bounce around.

And speaking of bouncing around, I'd like to inform you all that I'm officially moving back to the States. That's right, I'm coming home. At least for a while. I'm very happy with the decision if I'm to be honest with you. I feel like I've found everything that I came here looking for plus so much more. As you know, I didn't have many plans about when I was returning or what I was doing here, but hoped I would know the "right time." I think I've found it.

Please don't be mistaken, the life I lived here was real. I imagine sometimes it's silly to hear some of my stories because, as my best friend Alexa says, I live "so cinematically," but rest assured that living here was hard sometimes. I faced some of the same challenges I would have had in America in addition to so many that you maybe couldn't fathom. I'll have you know that I will definitely appreciate some of America's "simple tasks" I took for granted. But then these past two and a half months were also filled with an abundance of great things. I've started learning how to live out of an academic pattern and how to get wherever I want to be. I'm not exactly sure what's up next for me, but I'll keep you posted as the adventures continue to unfold.

27 September 2010

Friends Makin' Mems.

...memories, that is. This weekend I had so much fun with friends these past days that I just couldn't wait to share with you some of the things I did! First, I received a wonderful visit from my friend Abi. We studied together here in Siena during the Spring 2009 semester, and since lately I've especially been missing my Siena School friends who made this lovely place even more special, it was a special treat to have her here. She's living in Florence for now and was able to come for a day trip a few weeks back, but this time Abi came on Thursday and stayed for a few days. Slumber party, anyone? We talked and talked and drank LOTS of tea and talked some more. It was really perfect for the both of us.

Friday evening, after some awesome stone soup alla Abi, we went out on the town and shared a Bella Vista. Although I'm not much of a cocktail drinker, this drink is great! The ginger they put in it gives a nice spicy taste that definitely reminds me of being in Siena with friends. We were joined by Deanne, the most awesome Canadian I know, and had some fun girl talk. Can you really ever get enough of that? The three of us joined some friends to celebrate Gabriele's birthday. I usually don't talk about going out because it's mostly the same scene no matter where you are, but I mention it this time for two reasons:
  1. Realizing that I can have a conversation in Italian really never gets old to me. I struggled (and continue to fight) with this language. It means a lot that, despite some hiccups, I can get my point across. It was also nice to hear Abi, who is a language genius, recognize how the language is more fluid for me after a year and a half. It's difficult to see my own growth so moments like these are especially sweet.
  2. Italians celebrate birthdays differently. I didn't know this when my birthday rolled around, but on your birthday, you pay. Team North America (Abi, Deanne, and I) tried to explain how it works in our cultures, but Team Italy wasn't having any of it. Not that I was complaining. The free drinks were nice. :)
On  Saturday afternoon, Abi and I made a visit to Florence. Shamefully, I had not made a trip up there until then, but maybe that contributed in making the trip so wonderful. We spent the afternoon with the group of friends I made on my first trip to Italy in July 2008 and had a fantastic time, as per usual. I finally made it up to Piazza Michelangelo which offers the best view of the city.  Then we walked around and caught up with each other, played some billiards to pass the time, and I got a ride on my friend Armando's moped. Don't worry, Mom, I made him promise to drive safely. It was SO FUN!!! Abi and I made the trip back to Siena and went to bed early because yesterday we had planned a big day.






We woke up extra early, dressed ourselves in the sloppiest clothes we had, and met Gabriele who drove us out into the country a hour to go grape harvesting! Since there was no one on the road, we were a little ahead of schedule, and so he took us to a nearby town with a Roman bath that people still use. Next day trip, maybe?

 




When we finally got to the small vineyard of Gabriele's family friend Raddichio (or "Radish"--I couldn't figure out where the nickname came from), we jumped into the work cutting the bunches of grapes off the vines. Not very complicated work, but it was a great experience and a wonderful day to pass outside of the city and in good company. 

Lunch time, as usual, was the best part though. Waiting for things to be finished, we toured a bit of the farm and played some with Raddichio's grandchildren and the hugest pack of dogs I've seen in real-life. Raddichio's wife and her crew made a feast for us with their homegrown products which we ate under the olive trees. I had to take a slow pace just to keep going, but everything was delicious beyond words. I wish I could share with you the good food and the warm feeling from being in moments like this one. It's certainly an experience to have. Post-meal, we went back to work which went by so quickly and even got some free wine as payment.

Where all the magic happens.
Real free range chickens.
We ate here under the trees...but there were no birds to be found.

If anyone's interested in renting this cute house it's available. :)



On the trip back, I took some pictures of the view I thought you'd like to see and dragged our tired and sorry selves back home. My sore scissor-cutting hand gives a big wave to all of you until next time!




18 September 2010

Revelations According to Me

As promised, I'm writing a post to give you an official update on my life as it is now. I feel like I've settled into a new temporary routine. I'm acting as a substitue for my friend Anya who is traveling in the States, so I spend my mornings at a preschool playing with Italian babies for a few hours. It's interesting how much I've learned there. I'm definitely getting some practice of the imperative tense and have been learning some really fun songs like the one about the round, round watermelon that wanted to be the best in the world and the Italian version of "Ring Around the Rosie."

I've also started hanging out with two lovely ragazze. Violeta is 10 and she's a power house. She knows what she likes and is, as we say in the South, smart as a whip. Gaia, age 7, is a sweet girl. After our first meeting I was a bit nervous about what she'd think of me, but held on to me tightly wherever we went on Friday. She also learned the word "puppy" on Friday. Success. They fall into their birth order dynamics pretty nicely which reminds me quite a bit of Jason and myself. Too fun!

But I have made some revelations lately that I'd like to share with you:

The first is that I'm alone. Now, I could use the euphimism and tell you that I'm living on my own, but I don't think that phrase is sufficient to describe how I feel. Sure I have friends here. Whether I be sick or sad, they have shown over these past weeks more patience and kindness than I could express in words. I feel like I've won the lottery when it comes to them. Still it's difficult to live so far from majority of my network. At times I feel very solitary and, let me tell you, that's a pretty scary thing.

The positive side here is that I feel like I'm learning more and better in this way. I'm finding my own limits, strengths, and weaknesses. Surely this information will be crucial knowledge no matter where or with whom I live. I'm also discovering my own opinions. I've never really been one to hide my opinions when I've had them, but believe it or not, sometimes I just can't make up my mind. I used to say that in these moments I could develop my thoughts after hearing what others had to say first. But as I begin to grasp my own priorities and the process for making decisions, I almost find it refreshing to be alone.

Strangely enough, the second realization I've made is how WONDERFUL the people I have in my life are. No matter where in the world I am, you show me all kinds of support in any manner of ways. I have heard from you when I needed it most and have felt your presence throughout the joyful and trying times. Sure, communication is different these days. It's not so easy to pick up a phone and call someone when you don't even live in the same country code. And if I usually talked to someone twice a week because I would run into them while walking across campus, I realize I wouldn't be doing that now regardless. Despite these differences, I know you're there. And thank goodness for technology! You can say what you like about the evil of technology but Skype is a god-sent. Hallelujah and amen. A very special thank you to Aunt Carol and Uncle Joe: you guys are awesome! And an honest message about what I think of YOU straight from the words of a legend just to say thanks.

In these days I have some important decisions to make which brings us to my final revelation. I've spent countless hours (recently and just generally in my 22 years) fretting over decisions of all kinds. Each one feels like it's the end of the world, despite my recognition that my life will go on no matter what I choose. I've decided to put an end to the fretting--or as much as someone who has nurtured worrying can. I'm never going to know what's "right." I might know 10 years from now that I made a good decision, but then again I might never know. What I do know is that I will make the best decisions for me when I need to in that very moment. Fretting is wasting all kinds of energy and time that I no longer choose to waste. In the words of my wise and beautiful mother, "it's just not worth it." So enough is enough. And that's plenty enough.

17 September 2010

Things I saw walking down the street today.

A Spiderman moped that almost made me want to abandon my vintage Vespa dreams.



A chalk artist turning a dark "John the Baptist" Caravaggio into a colorful Sienese fresco similar to this one.




A 13 year old girl kick a 15 year old boy's behind in oversized "Scacchi in Piazza" which, of course, reminded me of one of my favorite movie scenes ever.

And that was just a stroll down the street this afternoon. All in all: I love living here. Better update coming soon.