First and foremost, congratulations Sheryl on completing college and doing so with such growth and achievement. I hope you recognize what you have done for yourself and take this period to be really proud. That was the hardest thing for me to do just seven months ago and one of the few regrets from my own college experience. So enjoy this time because both you and now I know there are greater struggles in your near future than even those you dealt with as a Meredith student.
And so, upon reflecting, I decided to speak about just that – recognizing success. I’ve spent much of my young life pursuing “success” and along the way have asked so many people I consider successful to provide me with their memoirs and road maps so I could get there, too. Now most of you know, but for those of you who don’t, let’s just say I don’t feel like I’ve quite achieved it all yet. So when considering what to share with you, Sheryl, I don’t think I have much authority to say a lot yet. But because I wanted to talk about success quite badly, instead I resolved to distribute the golden nuggets I caught from others along the way. They’ve been useful thus far and figured they couldn’t hurt you either.
So to begin as far back as I can remember, Mrs. Spach, my second grade teacher taught me that I didn’t need to cry about everything and that I could deal with some things on my own. Clearly, I’m still working on some of these things, but she was the first person to tell me that I could make things happen.
Later at the end of the most awful seventh grade ever recorded, Mr. Becker reminded me that some offenses just need to be put to rest so we can revel in the good times.
In high school, the former French military man turned teacher Mr. Tourret directed the student government and I was secretary. One day, taking a break from revolutionizing the school governing system, he told me that there were three types of people in the world. The vast majority were those who transported pianos. Then there were those who played the piano. He told me that I should always try to be in the very small elite group – those who appreciate the music. While I know what he was saying, I think it’s very French. I have since come to believe it’s important to have the muscles to move the piano and the know-how to play because that’s what makes listening to the tune even sweeter.
Then P.T.A. at lovely old Bishop McGuinness brought in Australian life coach Matthew Kelley. Although his book was poorly written, he said something that changed my life and became one of my personal mantras: Be the best version of yourself. In every area of your life – whether that be your career, romantic, friendship, or family relationships, your health, spirituality, or whatever – we should surround ourselves with people, ideas, and practices that make us a better.
Going off to college, my parents reminded me of the same phrases I had always heard from them. Mom said, “Just do your best. And when you do it, you should walk away from every situation satisfied because you know there’s nothing else you can do.” Dad, on the other hand, told me, “Make friends with the custodians, guards, and lunch ladies because they’re the ones with the real power. And make conversation with the elderly because they have the real wisdom.” Words to live by.
At Meredith, my advisor, sweet Dr. O’Dekirk never said anything in particular, but he did have an open door and chair just my size whenever I needed it. That, for me, spoke louder than most others’ words.
My two Italian professors, first Max at Meredith, then Rita during my semester in Siena told me to seek out adventure and trust my heart. But they both warned me to keep my heart open because sometimes what you thought you always wanted will be different at decision time.
Jeff, the ex-pat from Boston, taught me my favorite Italian phrase: “La vita si rinnova,” or “Life renews itself.” Because there are times, he shared, that success is just waking up in the morning.
In a similar strain, is the definition of success I learned from my best friend and college roommate Abbey. Being there through it all, she gave me plenty of hugs and matter of factly informed me, “Move on to the next thing.” Surely, if success couldn’t be found just where I was, it couldn’t be far away…as long as I kept moving forward.
So although I set out to explicitly define success for myself some time ago, I still rely heavily on the sound bites and memories I’ve collected from those I love and who I am lucky enough to be loved by. Yet the closest I ever came to my own definition brings me to my Meredith onyx and my favorite poem…s.
Many recognize the poem “Success” attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson which starts “To laugh often and much” and proceeds to list great things (in every sense of greatness) until the final line and inscription in my onyx: “This is to have succeeded.” But in the name of womanhood, I would like to read the original written by Bessie Stanley. And, Sheryl, as you listen today, call to mind those successes you’ve had and prepare yourself for those in your future.
Success
He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children;
Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
Who has left the world better than he found it whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth’s beauty or failed to express it;
Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;
Whose life was an inspiration;
Whose memory a benediction.
Once again, congratulations Sheryl and good luck on your future successes.
