I'm late to the party...

but happy new year, y'all! Hahaha! Despite the fact that we're almost two weeks into 2011, there are still 50 left, so in perspective, I'm still at the beginning of it. I'm getting older, quicker and the days are moving faster than I can note, but I feel like this is especially true of 2010. I waited a long time for 2010 and now it's already gone, but a lot happened in those measly 12 months. To sum it up, I decided to use some of my favorite pictures from the year month by month.

 Now what? I've got a lot to think about and to work on in 2011, so here are some goals:

• Learn to speak Spanish (somewhat).
• Find a job (or jobs) where I work at least 30 hours a week.
• Hand make 3 things I am proud of. (Maybe you can teach me to do something cool like this, Kellie?)
• Handwrite a letter a week.
• Paint and decorate my room.
• Set aside time to write short stories.
• Take the GRE again and apply to 5 graduate programs.
• Inventory, organize, and cut down all of my belongings to fit in my room following The Cult of Less.
• Achieve my healthy size finally (almost there!) ... and stay there.
• Move.
• Start a book of my favorite (read: edible) recipes.
• Visit a new state. (I'll choose Colorado if you'll take me on one of these, Marie!)
• Run in a 5k. (Wanna run one together Lauren?)
• Check my car's tire pressure and oil on the first of every month.
• Volunteer regularly.
• Have more fun than I had in 2010....

Words of Wisdom

Back at the beginning of September I wrote a post about defining success and two of my favorite poems. Just recently two of my very best friends Jenn and Sheryl graduated from Meredith College and the last two weekends I couldn't be prouder to have had the great opportunity to celebrate their achievements. I was asked to give a speech at Sheryl's graduation party and at my mother's request, I'm posting it here for all of you. When putting to pen to paper, I come to a lot of personal realizations. You'll recognize the poem, but bear with me reusing material (it's really powerful, though), and enjoy my ever developing conclusions!

First and foremost, congratulations Sheryl on completing college and doing so with such growth and achievement. I hope you recognize what you have done for yourself and take this period to be really proud. That was the hardest thing for me to do just seven months ago and one of the few regrets from my own college experience. So enjoy this time because both you and now I know there are greater struggles in your near future than even those you dealt with as a Meredith student.

And so, upon reflecting, I decided to speak about just that – recognizing success. I’ve spent much of my young life pursuing “success” and along the way have asked so many people I consider successful to provide me with their memoirs and road maps so I could get there, too. Now most of you know, but for those of you who don’t, let’s just say I don’t feel like I’ve quite achieved it all yet. So when considering what to share with you, Sheryl, I don’t think I have much authority to say a lot yet. But because I wanted to talk about success quite badly, instead I resolved to distribute the golden nuggets I caught from others along the way. They’ve been useful thus far and figured they couldn’t hurt you either.

So to begin as far back as I can remember, Mrs. Spach, my second grade teacher taught me that I didn’t need to cry about everything and that I could deal with some things on my own. Clearly, I’m still working on some of these things, but she was the first person to tell me that I could make things happen.

Later at the end of the most awful seventh grade ever recorded, Mr. Becker reminded me that some offenses just need to be put to rest so we can revel in the good times.

In high school, the former French military man turned teacher Mr. Tourret directed the student government and I was secretary. One day, taking a break from revolutionizing the school governing system, he told me that there were three types of people in the world. The vast majority were those who transported pianos. Then there were those who played the piano. He told me that I should always try to be in the very small elite group – those who appreciate the music. While I know what he was saying, I think it’s very French. I have since come to believe it’s important to have the muscles to move the piano and the know-how to play because that’s what makes listening to the tune even sweeter.

Then P.T.A. at lovely old Bishop McGuinness brought in Australian life coach Matthew Kelley. Although his book was poorly written, he said something that changed my life and became one of my personal mantras: Be the best version of yourself. In every area of your life – whether that be your career, romantic, friendship, or family relationships, your health, spirituality, or whatever – we should surround ourselves with people, ideas, and practices that make us a better.

Going off to college, my parents reminded me of the same phrases I had always heard from them. Mom said, “Just do your best. And when you do it, you should walk away from every situation satisfied because you know there’s nothing else you can do.” Dad, on the other hand, told me, “Make friends with the custodians, guards, and lunch ladies because they’re the ones with the real power. And make conversation with the elderly because they have the real wisdom.” Words to live by.

At Meredith, my advisor, sweet Dr. O’Dekirk never said anything in particular, but he did have an open door and chair just my size whenever I needed it. That, for me, spoke louder than most others’ words.

My two Italian professors, first Max at Meredith, then Rita during my semester in Siena told me to seek out adventure and trust my heart. But they both warned me to keep my heart open because sometimes what you thought you always wanted will be different at decision time.

Jeff, the ex-pat from Boston, taught me my favorite Italian phrase: “La vita si rinnova,” or “Life renews itself.” Because there are times, he shared, that success is just waking up in the morning.

In a similar strain, is the definition of success I learned from my best friend and college roommate Abbey. Being there through it all, she gave me plenty of hugs and matter of factly informed me, “Move on to the next thing.” Surely, if success couldn’t be found just where I was, it couldn’t be far away…as long as I kept moving forward.

So although I set out to explicitly define success for myself some time ago, I still rely heavily on the sound bites and memories I’ve collected from those I love and who I am lucky enough to be loved by. Yet the closest I ever came to my own definition brings me to my Meredith onyx and my favorite poem…s.

Many recognize the poem “Success” attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson which starts “To laugh often and much” and proceeds to list great things (in every sense of greatness) until the final line and inscription in my onyx: “This is to have succeeded.” But in the name of womanhood, I would like to read the original written by Bessie Stanley. And, Sheryl, as you listen today, call to mind those successes you’ve had and prepare yourself for those in your future.

Success

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;

Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children;

Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;

Who has left the world better than he found it whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;

Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth’s beauty or failed to express it;

Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;

Whose life was an inspiration;

Whose memory a benediction.

 Once again, congratulations Sheryl and good luck on your future successes. 

I've been demoted.

Demoted to middle school - and I love it! Well, it's only been two days, but I'm all about this new part-time job. I watch a group of kids from two local middle schools until their parents or guardians can pick them up. And by stating that I "watch" these kids, I mean hang out. Yesterday I was schooled in how to complete the Rubik's cube in 2 minutes barely trying by M. And then today I earned bruises and broken blood vessels playing volleyball for the first time in 5.5 years with A.

It might be a little early to say, but I think this is the easiest job I've ever had. I won't lie to you, I was pretty nervous when I first accepted the job. To use the simplest euphemism I could imagine, my middle school years weren't my favorite. I don't think they were anyone's best years unless you are my friend Molly Hart. Gosh, that lady's thebomb.com and basically the coolest in general (Proof: She works for NPR). Anyway, I had a little chat with her because she's a Middle Schooler Whisperer. During our talk Molly gave me some advice on how to deal with them that made me realize there's not too much of a difference between the middle schoolers and me. We're in between. We want to be "adults"...whatever that means. We feel misunderstood and want someone to care. And at the end of the day we just want to have fun.

So I see this employment being a good one and have introduced a new label in anticipation: middle school madness. And although it's only 2 or 3 hours a day, it's an income of sorts... which works now that I have a new car! Dad sold me his 2009 Toyota Corolla "with all the bells and whistles" as he says.

Glamor shot from tuningnews.net

We're feeling each other out, so, no, he doesn't have a name yet. But I did want to introduce him because it's SO EXCITING! I mean, as long as I don't think about the payments I'm making. So much for that "adult" thing.

“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.” - G. K. Chesterson

I've never thought of my hometown as a very exciting place, but I've got to work with what's at hand right now so I've been looking for the adventure wherever I can find it. And rather than use words, I'll rely on the pictures I've taken to share the stories. First up is visiting Mom's second grade class complete with Cranberry Centers and a Thanksgiving feast with the kindergardeners.

Describing cranberries like a scientist.

My partner for Cranberry Centers and I at the taste testing.
What's your favorite cranberry treat: juice, bread, or sauce?

Cranberries: sink or swim?

The feast! Turkey sandwiches, popcorn, grapes (from the cornucopia), and milk (...from the cows?).
You know, just like the pilgrims.

Uh, yum!

I'm pretty sure that my daughter will be JUST like this little girl. She's gonna be an astronaut. 

Then was catching up with one of my best and oldest friends Shane who was in town for the weekend. We went bowling and Christmas shopping...which gave us the excuse to "Kinect." I had such a great time, but that should never be much of a surprise when you're rolling with this guy.

He's as silly as the day I met him. Just geriatric now. 

He's a master in the lanes, but he can't beat his mom on the Wii.

Look at that form! And with the slight curve at the end, that's what a spare looks like, people.

If I had an extra $149 lying around, I would have bought this in a second. So fun! 

And to close on the recent adventures, Mom and I had some great bonding time decorating our gingerbread house. It took 2 HOURS to do that tiny thing, but balancing our different visions and compulsions equaled a pretty awesome house.

And doesn't it look yummy enough to eat?!?

So maybe these are a different breed of marvels and mishaps than those you would find galvanting around Italy but I'm certainly enjoying myself. I guess that just goes to show you: "Adventure is out there!"

They say when it rains, it pours...

If that's the case, I'm in the middle of a quarter-life monsoon. Things are adding up and, in contrast with my last post, it's getting difficult to just be and to stay positive about everything. Yes, I'm unemployed, which is a doozy, but then there's more.

The most recent tragedy issue of my life that caused me to have a break down I'm trying to deal with responsibly is a car wreck. My poor Sonny! It seems that it just won't be worth the investment to repair him which feels like I'm mourning the loss of a friend. And as a result, I've been car shopping (which is just a big pain) and generally trying to decide what the best move is to make. There are plenty of questions to mull over: What if I get a job and move to a city where there's no need for a car? What if I get the Fulbright and am back in Italy in a few months? Super inconvenient timing to be dealing with this stuff, but I'm told that's what you find under the definition of "life" in the Dictionary of Hard Knocks.

And then there's other issues of my luck: I found a great 2008 car with good gas economy, low mileage, and awesome crash ratings at a decent price. It even had satellite radio, auxiliary for your iPod, and some thing so you could sync up your phone contacts...but it didn't have cruise control! Sorry, Mr. Sleazy Salesman, but I won't be going backwards in time.

And as if I didn't have enough inquiry and uncertainty, there are all kinds of personal questions floating around: What can I do to make my situation better? How can I behave to be sure that I stand by my ideals? Am I even growing up? I feel a bit out of control here which occasionally leads to spouts of hopelessness. People are growing and doing things and I feel stuck in the mud. I know this state is temporary, but this transition from where I was to where I'm going is far from easy. Like I said, I never expected it all to fall into place, but...something?...anything?!?

With my luck, it'll all come too quickly and I won't know what to do. Typical. But for now I've adopted a new - hopefully temporary - perspective which I like to call "positive pessimism." And the meaning? Expect everything to go wrong (because it will)...and then just stay positive anyway. It's my umbrella in these stormy conditions. To clear skies and better news - CHEERS!